You look good...for your age

Ugh, I cringe as I write these words. Why do we quantify compliments like that? Do I look good only because of my age? If I were +/- 10 years would I not look good? Who determines what looks "good" at any age? We have all heard and even said this statement, but who made the determination that any age looks a certain way? What is actually old? 50?70?100?

At 57, people have commented that I look good for my age. I am pleased at the compliment, but I also wonder how they would respond in a different scenario. With the influence of social media, many people use celebrities as the benchmark for "looking good". No one can argue that Jennifer Lopez, aka JLo, looks fabulous - for any age. The currently 52 year old singer/actress swears that she has not had botox or any injections. However, no-one can deny that she does have a private trainer, chef, housekeeper, nanny and a staff that keep her home running and her children cared for. Does she work hard? Undoubtedly, yes! Clearly no one else is creating her body but her hard work and clean diet. Is she doing it alone? No! That is where we need to stop comparing ourselves to celebrities and their lifestyles and looking at our own situation and how can we continue to look and feel our best. More importantly, feel comfortable in our own skin!

Looking back at what 50 looked like over time, we know that lifestyles have changed over the years.

When my parents got married in 1963, my grandmother was 51 years old! This is what 51 looked like back then. Her dress and style were considered fashionable for the time. When I think back to my early childhood, ashtrays were a staple in every home-it was a piece of furniture. My parents often talk of the "large box that the boys from the band carried in" that contained an ashtray. Smoking and a lack of exercise along with a diet that was heavy in fat and sodium all contributed to a hefty weight. Add to that the fact that clothes were washed by hand, cooking was all from scratch (and most likely food grown in your own garden), there were no conveniences, so you can see how one could "age" quickly.

As we moved through the 70's, running became the sport and everyone had a track suit and attempted to run the mile or a few miles. I recall my Dad deciding that he could get some exercise by running and he had his sneakers and track suit to help him on the way. It was a short lived experiment. But there was a shift toward fitness that was beginning to emerge.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was the definition of style and class in the 60's and right through to her death in 1994. At the very young age of 31, she became First Lady and graced the White House with style. During their trip to Paris, John F. Kennedy famously said, " I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it." Pictured here, shortly before her death at age 64, she still defined class and elegance. No one knows whether she had any plastic surgery done to her face, but it is evident that she has cared for herself.

In this day of modern conveniences, a healthy lifestyle is much easier to obtain than in the past. But we must also be careful not to compare ourselves to the rich and famous. Most of us do not have a personal chef to shop and cook for us. If we use a trainer, it is most likely a weekly event and not for several hours each day. I would venture to guess that most of us are cleaning our own homes and caring for our children in addition to working a few hours each day - maybe a full-time job. So, again, I ask - who decides what/how we look good?

The answer is WE DO! This week I had the pleasure of watching my younger brother run the Boston Marathon. As he crossed the finish line, with his arms outstretched, he felt every day of his 52 year old self. His knees were wrapped and in pain, his legs were on fire yet he did it! It was a personal goal that he accomplished. I saw many others that day doing just the same thing-folks who had prosthetic limbs, folks who appeared to be fresh out of college and those who appeared to be later in their years. Standing between mile 22 and 23, I was in awe. Clearly these people would all finish and I thought - truly age is just a number! We can all accomplish what we set our minds to and not let our circumstances define our achievements.

So the next time you wish to compliment someone, the statement is "You look great". Period. Or as Billy Crystal would parody -"Dahling, I have to tell you something. And I don't say this to everybody. You look mahvelous!" We say thank you and continue to live like.....